As a cat.

As a Cat, I want you to put my food in that bowl. Ew, not that food. Oh god no, not that bowl.
As a Cat, I want ALL YOUR ATTENTION HELLO so that I can have ALL YOUR ATTENTION HELLO HELLO HUMAN?
As a Cat, I want to walk on your head while you’re sleeping so that I can stare blankly at you when you wake up, cursing.
As a Cat, I want to lay down near you so I can keep an eye on you, but not so close that you think I like you too much.
As a Cat, I want to cuddle with you and punish you at the same time, so you don’t leave me alone for the weekend again.
As a cat, you shall adopt me, but I shall own you.

PS: I couldn’t come up with anything to write about cats when @CatUserStories came up on my Twitter Feed.
Thank you, admin.
This is hilarious.
Meow.

PPS: Adopt a cat, I dare you. I double dare you.

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